“Getting over it” is much easier said than done when going through a breakup. No wonder though, because there’s actually bio-chemical reasons behind the desperation and despair that we feel when dealing with the end of a relationship.

Everyone has their own way to cope with breakups and different ways to get over it. Students that I spoke to about their experiences with breakups asked to remain anonymous.

One student who recently went through a breakup said, “I decided to focus on myself more, and I tried to make myself busy with other plans.” She recommends, “Taking time and space away from the situation to realize what’s better for yourself.”

There are four core areas that each person goes through during a breakup: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

Physical ways to cope with a breakup are to meditate, eat healthily and regularly, get plenty of sleep. Some find it hard to eat and sleep while going through a breakup.

Emotional ways to cope with a breakup are to surround yourself with smiles and happy vibes and experience your feelings; don’t push them out. To be able to get through it you have to feel the pain.

Mental ways to cope with a breakup are to stop obsessing and take a 60-second “vacation.” When you find yourself going “there” stop yourself and have a “happy thought” ready to distract you.

Spiritual ways to cope with a breakup are to give to others. Studies show that the happiest people are the ones who give the most to others! When you’re upset about something you focus more on yourself, so do something for someone else and fill yourself up with things you love to do!

Now the “getting over” part is hard and it does take time. One student said that she still isn’t over her ex. She said, “It doesn’t happen so quickly. It takes time and space to be able to realize what has happened and to realize that it is real.” She added, “The hardest part of my breakup was being so close with that person. It definitely made me miss him a lot more.”

In the end, can exes be friends? A student shared, “I wouldn’t consider me and my ex. friends but more like acquaintances but when the time is right I wouldn’t mind being friends.”

Each breakup is different and hard in its own way. It’s up to you to decide how you want to feel about it. You don’t have to make it so hard, if you can realize to focus on better things! Choose to be happy and things will fall into place. Ms. Phillips said, “you’ll fall in love many times in your life, and with each experience learn a little bit more about yourself so you’re ready for ‘the one’ when her or she shows up.”