We live in a world engulfed in violence and hatred. From gender inequities to racial and religious profiling, human beings are never short on topics to disagree over. It is for this very reason, that America has always been more than happy to share its border with the peaceful people of Canada. In a history spanning more than two centuries, The United States and Canada have never argued over anything more trivial than where the border between the two should lie. In reality, Canada has always been the ideal neighbor. However, this golden age of collaborative harmony may be coming to an end sooner than any of us realize.

On September 27, 2014, authorities stopped a Canadian man in the process of crossing the border between Canada and The United States. Now at first, this may not raise any red flags. I admit I myself was not necessarily interested in the story until I learned the horrifying truth. This Canadian man was no ordinary traveler, for under his clothing he had concealed more than fifty American baby turtles.

Border police reacted immediately, charging the man with smuggling as well as illegal trading and exporting, however it remains unclear if this man was acting alone or is merely a small part of a much larger, much more sinister black market for baby turtles. Because authorities have been so reluctant to make public statements about the “turtle incident”, it has been difficult to foresee how it will affect future Canada-U.S. relations. Hopefully this incident was an isolated incident and the people of America and Canada can sleep in peace, however only time will tell.

Disclaimer: Please note this article is meant to be satirical and while the events are true, the ramifications of these events are fabricated.